Fighting Damages Our Marriages – May 5, 2016

James 4:1, What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you? 2You desire but do not have, so you kill. You covet but you cannot get what you want, so you quarrel and fight. You do not have because you do not ask God. 3When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.

Proverbs 17:1, Better is a dry morsel and quietness with it, than a house full of feasting with strife.

Proverbs 20:3, Keeping away from strife is an honor for a man, but any fool will quarrel.

Proverbs 21:9, It is better to live in a corner of a roof, than in a house shared with a contentious woman.

My Inspirational Thoughts this week examine what James, the brother of Jesus, has to say about quarreling, fighting and arguing with others. He said in James 4:1, “What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you?” James says the source of our quarreling is from our internal desires, jealousy or envy. Yesterday, I said the first place our jealousy and envy causes problems was in our personal relationships with others. The second area fights and quarreling hurts us is in our families.

A recent article featured in the Science of People, stated that 69% of marital conflicts never get fully resolved. The result was many married couples keep fighting the same fight over and over and over again. The end result is that the marriage can never heal or move on because couples are constantly tearing off the scab before the wound can fully heal. Abraham Lincoln once stated, “A house divided cannot stand.” And while the house Lincoln was referring to was the country, that truth holds true for a marriage. A house divided simply cannot stand. So today, let yesterday’s argument or battle go. Don’t fight yesterday’s battle again today. And chances are your marrige will be better off for it. Join me tomorrow, and I’ll share with you the third area fights and quarrels most commonly affect us negatively.

Think about it…and have a blessed day!
John Mark Caton, Ph.D