We Don’t Usually Get What We Want, If We Win The Fight – May 3, 2016

James 4:1, What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you? 2You desire but do not have, so you kill. You covet but you cannot get what you want, so you quarrel and fight. You do not have because you do not ask God. 3When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.

Proverbs 14:30, A tranquil heart gives life to the flesh, but envy makes the bones rot.

Proverbs 26:20, For lack of wood the fire goes out, and where there is no whisperer, contention quiets down. Like charcoal to hot embers and wood to fire, so is a contentious man to kindle strife.

James, the brother of Jesus, has a lot to say about fighting and arguing.   Monday’s blog pointed out that most of the time our fights and arguments come from our own desires, jealousy and envy. Remember what James 4:1 said, “What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you? 2You desire but do not have, so you kill. You covet but you cannot get what you want, so you quarrel and fight.”

Probably one of the most well-known stories of jealousy in the Bible was that of Joseph being sold into slavery by his brothers (Genesis 37). Joseph was the favorite son of his father, and his brothers took notice of his special treatment. His brothers inwardly wanted to be the special child, so they threw him into a pit and sold him into slavery.  However, even in getting rid of the favored son, none of the brothers ever got what they really desired. Don’t miss that fact.  Even if we win an argument or fight, that does not mean that we get what we want.

In fact, if we really think about it, does a quarrel lead to satisfaction? Does a good fight produce rewarding results? Before you hop into an argument with your family, friends, coworkers, or strangers, think about your desired result. Pause and plan the best way to a compromise or a peaceful resolution.

Join me tomorrow as I unfold the three most common places our jealousy and envy cause problems.

Think about it and have a blessed day!

John Mark Caton, Ph.D