Break The Crazy Cycle – October 7, 2016
Matthew 18:21, Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?” 22Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.”
Ephesians 5:33, Nevertheless, each individual among you also is to love his own wife even as himself, and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband.
At Cottonwood Creek, I’m currently teaching a series titled Relationship Goals God’s Way. Sunday, I spoke on the importance of forgiveness in our relationships. In the best-selling book on marriage titled ‘Love and Respect,’the author describes two key ingredients for a great marriage. First, “husbands love your wives, and second, wives respect your husbands!” The author used Ephesians 5:33 to say that the foundation for every good marriage is pretty simple; however, the author said too often couples get into a ‘crazy cycle’ where the husband withholds loving actions from his wife because he doesn’t think his wife respects him. Then the wife in turn withholds respect from her husband, because she doesn’t think he shows her loving actions. The result is a lack of love and respect which makes couples unhappy, that’s the ‘crazy cycle.’
The crazy cycle can be broken when husbands start showing their wives loving actions, and wives start demonstrating true respect for their husbands. But, here is the key; husbands and wives must demonstrate true love and true respect without expecting anything in return because if we act a certain way, expecting a certain response, we create unrealistic expectations that if not met, can quickly throw us back into the crazy cycle. This weekend, if your marriage is caught in a crazy cycle, break that cycle by making a seventy-two-hour commitment to love and respect without expecting anything in return. You just might find you can break that crazy cycle faster than you think.
Think about that and have a blessed weekend!
John Mark Caton, Ph.D